#4 of 4 BRAIN-BASED LEADERSHIP SECRETS – The 4th leadership secret is: PERSONAL POWER.

Leaders who make the biggest difference in people’s lives, and critically, create more leaders, are those who master their Personal Power to make people FEEL good, valued, and important about themselves.

Maya Angelou remains, for me, the person who best captures this sentiment … “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Mastering Personal Power is very challenging because neurologically, each of us is TWICE AS LIKELY to go into a Protect State of Mind … than into a … Connect State of Mind. In other words, our brains are naturally wired to look out for danger (i.e. Fight, Flight, Freeze & Appease), and in this Protect State of Mind, trust levels are low … and no one wants to engage (long term) with a leader they do not trust.

At the Henka Institute (where I am Head of Faculty and a Partner) – a key element to mastering Personal Power is what we call HeartQ – this is about empathy and connection … which is about creating a climate of trust and connection through listening, asking vs. telling and getting furiously curious for and with others. It’s about seeing multiple perspectives, fostering inclusion and inviting others’ participation … people feel seen AND heard, which is a core human need.

Personal Power is also about (source David J. Lieberman, Ph.D.) … :

1. Never confusing passion with authority. Overly passionate leaders are believable, but no one wants to follow them;

2. Never yelling or raising your voice to anybody = loss of respect. If you cannot lead yourself, you cannot lead others;

3. Being respectful to everyone. By giving respect and attention leaders gain one incredible ingredient that is essential to every leader: Charisma!

And a great HBR article I’d invite you to read is … Learning Charisma.